Thursday, April 4, 2013

A View


I want to write something beautiful ,
-Something that makes the believer believe even more, the optimistic  adopt a new optimism path, and the dreamer renew all of his dreams.
-a description that is too damn good that makes the writer rewrite his novels, and watch the utter printed words.
-I am gonna put two unrelated words together in a way that is totally fitting, the kind of fitting that makes it almost impossible for you to re-separate them.
-I am gonna hold the *right required word* to the end ,, I am not going to reveal its identity, though I shall refer to it, I might describe its color and smell, I even might utter how it feels to hold it to the end.
-I am gonna read between ur lines and write between my replies ,, I am gonna let my betweens reply ur betweens,, and let my comments reply ur lines. it is gonna be that simple for you and me but complicated for who knows how many.
-I am gonna listen to whatever any word has to say , words don't just speak their meanings, But more, much more.
-I am gonna say what I don't mean and write what I don't believe in , and wait just wait for you to reply my actual meanings and beliefs.
-I am gonna use bare words roaming my mind all night long, and trying to direct them down on paper to give a sentence that almost anyone can relate to.
-I am gonna re-feel all my feelings and imagine all my imaginations and see how far I can go with all senses I have.

Sunday, January 27, 2013

She


She could barely recognize her soul among all the scratches,and holes. she felt lonely, the kind of loneliness that no matter what she read, whatever songs she listened to, it never really fades away.she failed to live a normal peacful life with her abnormal violated heart, of course she was persuaded that the only way her heart would stop aching so bad, is to hold it between her hands, but her hands being so tiny, it was practically impossible to hold such an enlarged perforated organ.
all along people have told her that she had such a transparent soul that others could see right through it with no apparent effort, she started to question the healthy thickness level of one's soul, have her soul being so delicate made her any good in her miserable life?,,doesn't a soul being so delicate mean that it is more likely to be drilled over and over?.. she reached out that only rough coarse thick-souled people survived in their life duration, a transparent soul is not really a good defense mechanism in this world anymore ,was it because she trusted people  that the disappointments literally consumed her? Or was is due to the lack of love threads that were webbed around her, that prevent anyone to fall apart.Or maybe just maybe both roughness and selfishness of people have turned her soul in to restless reckless one, Or maybe questioning the reason that led her heart be worn out  was the main reason it ended up that way, would you just please leave her alone?


she started to think of all of that the moment she woke up and decided to go out of bed. does she really want to go out of bed today? 

Saturday, January 19, 2013

Pathetic humanistic ideas..


-Imagine an emotional person who can't deal with most of known emotions, which frequently leads him bursting new unknown emotions, that he just can't handle.
All along I thought that I was emotionally intelligent, I can control how I feel whatever it was, I don't let myself being drifted by love, hate, affection, or even indifference.
I only let myself feel whatever I want to feel, people couldn't hurt me, unless I allowed them to, and I was happy, of course things didn't always go my way, and there were some stupid people whom I couldn't control my love towards, and more stupid people towards whom I couldn't control my hate, there were exceptions which I hated the most, I mean seriously the most thing I do hate more than the rule itself is its exception like it is not hard enough to reach out a rule!! Back to my point there were few exceptions that distracted me, eventually led me to write this.
Lately, things changed, they always do, don't they?! , lately I have been thinking that nothing is ultimate and it is so dramatically un wise to generalize human feelings the way I used to do, it is not that easy to set a rule, set its exception without actually being distracted and confused that the exception can turn out to be the rule, and rule turns out to be just another exception, the more mature I become the less clear things turn out to be, one single notion is never a one single notion to me, it drifts more thoughts than I will ever care to count, so for all my exceptions, for every single one whom I loved when the most reasonable thing to do was hating him, but still I kept loving him indeed, for every single person whom I was supposed to give up on him when all I did was giving in.
and For all people who did everything they could to make me love them, and no matter how hard they tried ,no matter how hard I tried,  I just didn't love them the way they wanted, the way they deserved.
You are the only proof that no matter how hard I tried to un-humanize myself , I turned out to be a human being after all, which is so disappointing , you know :P…

P.S :  What I just wrote suffers a severe mind-diversity, and you probably didn't finish it, which makes it more likely that you are not reading this pardo,, anyway Sorry, I will probably be killed by over-thinking Just saying!

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Romance *Sigh*




This will sound crazy, even for me, so who is barely accused to be sane
Stay Safe, Don't read this!

When I first met you, -well actually if I can
consider the fact of ur profile-poping
out  of absolutely nowhere equals meeting you- things became much
clearer, incidents passed much slower through me, Maybe Nothing
changed, maybe it is me, Maybe it has always been me.
I stopped worrying about things, I stopped complaing too, and seriously
if you know the paranoid-side of me, you will get that THIS
IS A HUGE THING!
like it is enough for me that u are on the same planet, maybe now
I am breathing the same air you exhaled months ago, Maybe we met
some common people who led us to gain common experiences.
Maybe one day we read the same online things , that made us think
in the very same way, Maybe someday our playlist was more likely
to be the same than any other two, Or maybe we gained the same weight
in the very same week , then complained about this the same amount.
It doesn't actually matter which one of those happened, maybe
they all did, Maybe more, maybe nothing at all.
But in the weirdest way , in the very weirdest way actually I can assure
you that I have never ever sensed this feeling of belong with anyone else.
someone asked Can a hug be a home?,, and I am asking you
can a profile just a profile be a home this much?!,, Both not-literally and literally (as ur profile is actually my homepage which is totally pathetic, I mean dude it is
a total pathetic thing to do) *Sigh* I am so pathetic.

Monday, October 15, 2012

Random irrational must written things

-And I am lost, trying to explain the feeling of the very last un-cooked pop corn in oil, surrounded by cooked ones, 1/10 sec. before it pops!,because I believe that describing that will announce me as an artistic writer!

-And I was convinced that people who love me are the only ones who didn't know her, Sad truth, I loved her, but I wished she just disappear.


Monday, August 13, 2012

To me Novels are not just novels.

She was yelling at me for taking the novel more serious than a sane person should, it is just a novel for God sake, she said. True,I take novels seriously , more serious than most ppl I know, and this is something most ppl I know will never understand.

Saturday, August 4, 2012

Art

I have always been intrigued by the untold, the unseen, whether it is behind the scene, Or not even behind the scene. I am somehow captured by the after-state, the after-state of a singer who sings a really heart-breaking song, when all people emotionally move on after listening to it. How he feels after the song?. Like I read before a closed-box has its glorification, as long as it is closed , anything can be in, a mummy, a map to lost-treasure, secret information of how to split down the world in ten days, money, books , weapon, spider webs, Or nothing at all. That is how I see UN-told, I practically hear the untold say so much without actually telling that. That is how the vagueness is more clear to me than the clearly obvious stuff that every other person wants us to see. I actually observed lately that I barely look to the main actor/actress in a commercial. I search for completely other things, sometimes I miss the aim of the whole commercial by doing this. Some people May call it distraction even dumbness, but I agree to call it an art. The art of seeing/hearing/smelling the UN Or barely exist. So can you please just not talk?, If you talk loudly that is actually interact negatively with how clear I hear you.